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Hold Me To Your Heart

A lot has happened in the past few weeks, and as such this entry needs to be updated. Allison has become the Lady in my life, a woman after so much more than my own dark-heart. For some reason, which I can never truly explain, she captured my heart a while ago. I have always been against the whole concept of internet-romances, and yet here I am now fully active in one such relationship. Funny how things happen. *lol* Allison is a sweet lady, and a loyal one. Sure she has her bad points, but the good ones are much more in abundance. She is beautiful, she has a great voice, and she is so in-tune with my own heart. We have a connection. We chat every morning and every night on IM (I know it is often small talk, Allison, but there are many gems to be found in small talk), and we talk every other week on the phone. It is a big shame she is in Australia, cause I so want to go and see her. Next year it will happen. I can barely wait. My Lady, to you I send this: *hugz and stuff* ... Oh, and frankie junior sends his regards.

Mark has seen me go through a lot, he was there when I made my break from the chains of Christianity. But I am getting ahead of myself. I met Mark through an old friend of mine called Darren (Mark's cousin), and despite the way I was dressed that Wednesday evening in 1997, we hit it off straight away, no doubt due to our mutual love of Doctor Who. For a while I spent much of my energy trying to convince him that Christianity was the right way to go, but he would have none of it. It's ironic looking back, cause it turned out he was right. It was Mark who saw the truth, that I was all set to break away (even though I was -in his own words- the most serious about the faith out of all the people he had met at Twynholm). Mark has seen me battle against the emotional scars that were left in me, but he never let me deal with them alone. He was always there (and still is) on the other end of the phone, ready to listen. True friendships are built with a lot of time and effort, and in three years we have spent much time and effort on this friendship, and it all pays off... Roll on the future, for this is only the beginning!

For over seven years now Jonathan and I have been good friends, indeed I have come to think of him as one of my best mates, much like I did years ago. We have been through a lot together, as we both made mistakes. I have seen him grow from a teenager to a focused young man. Even now, months later, I find it hard to credit that he and Karla are married. It was always going to happen, of course, after all Jon and Karla have been going out with each other almost as long as I have known them. Boy, how much I could type here about the seven years of friendship. We haven't always seen eye to eye, and there was a time when we had no respect for each other at all. Those days are gone now. Now Jon is the sort of friend I know I will always have. We don't need to be in constant communication, but when we do catch up with each other it is like we have never been apart. That is the best way. Relaxed and totally open. My friend, Jonathan, I wish him the best always. Here's to many many more years... I love you, bro.

Andrew T.
My klein boet (little brother, in Afrikaans). This is one guy that I have a hell of a lot of time for, although it is no longer allowed. I have known him since he was ten and I was twenty, the little brother of Jonathan. I have watched him grow into a wise young man, certainly a lot wiser than his peers. He has a heart for people quite unlike any I have witnessed, and is very determined in his faith. Yet he is still willing to accept the differences in others about him. It takes a man to accept that. What else can I say about him? How about a little message for him. Yes, that will work since he is bound to read this. Andrew, thanks for the years of friendship. It has been an honour watching you grow, and although our friendship has been brought to a premature end (which is the cause of some pain), let me say that you will be missed. Still, keep walking the path you have chosen to walk, and let no one knock you back. I love you.

Simon T.
The third of the Turpins on my friends list. I must stress right now that although I am better friends with Jonathan, Andrew and Simon are on par as for as the strength of our friendships goes. Simon is the one inbetween Jon and Andrew age-wise. Just like his brothers I can say an awful lot about the seven years of friendship I have had with Simon, and I do mean a lot. Simon comes across as a bit of a loner if you do not know him too well - a quiet, reserved type. But if you get to know him like I have you will discover that he is a very smart, and sharp-witted young man. And very funny, too. And loyal. I made an error by not putting him on this page sooner, although I had every intention of doing so. The error was that he noticed his absence, and that hurt him. I apologise big time for that, Simon. Message for you: I do consider you a good and valued mate, and a loyal one to boot. Simon is a loyal kind of guy, one of the few who will not be swayed by the majority decision, and one of the minority who stayed by my side after my departure from the Christian Faith. My love and respect go out to you, buddy.

What can I say about Ewan? A great deal to be honest. I met him online well over a year ago in CCM at NetCentral, for a while we just chatted, but over time we built up a trust. I have since found him to be a very warm chap, always willing to talk and to listen, never far from being perfectly candid about his thoughts. It has been quite refreshing. Ewan was there for me when I began to have my doubts about Christianity, always ready with an honest answer. Over the months we have talked so so much, sometimes about things that I would not normally talk about. I often think it is because we chat online that it is less threatening, but the more I think about it the more I realise it is simply because I trust him. There is so much more I want to type, but it is that trust that prevents me from doing so. Alas, I have not heard much from him of late, but then he has been very busy. Ewan, you are missed, mon ami. We are still in touch, just not as much. I sometimes get the feeling that he thinks I have gone weird... *l* Maybe I have.

It's about time I put Dick on this page. I have known him for well over a year, nearer to two to be honest. I use to hate him. He is the man behind the infamous (and I do mean, infamous) Rev. Jesus Manson. When I was into Christianity, Dick and I had many a harsh word to say to one another. I used to hate that fact that he put the names Jesus and Manson together. Since then I have opened my eyes once again, and saw the world for what it is, and have seen the humour in the way Dick is. He is honestly a great guy, and a very honest one. He hates Christianity with a passion, and I have to side with him on that. His main hobby (in chat rooms, at least) is to bait Christians. And they always fall for it. I bow before you greatness, Rev. Manson.... *sings* My Jesus, my saviour... *lol* Keep up the good work, Dick!

In the short time that I have known him, Shane and I seemed to have built a nice little bond. As of November 7th he is officially my adopted younger brother. Most people will know him from MikesWeb, and they can attest to the fact that is a mad fucker. A bit like me. And there lies the crux of the friendship. He is so like me when I was his age (only seven years ago). I'm not gonna say how, simply because it is not needed for people to know, but Shane knows what I am talking about. So far I think we have had only one really really serious conversation, but I can tell ya for a fact, some deeply profound things were said in the early hours of that morning. To you, Shane, I say this: Remember who you are, and be willing to change the things you can, and accept what you cannot.

I cannot remember when Judee and I first met, but I do know it was in CCM at netcentral. I use to be there a lot you might notice. We hit it off straight away. I still remember how we both thought about the possibilities of a net romance. I think she was a little taken aback that I liked her, but I did. Heck, I still do. I think she has a great smile and beautiful eyes, and the personality to match. We have spent many long mornings chatting online, but not enough through email, a fact she often reminds me of. I still hope to meet her some day, I think it would be great to spend some time in South Africa with her. And we both have an intense love for Scotland. Great lass is she. Alas, Judith and I lost touch for a long time and it is only recently that we have been back in touch. Now, of course, I am deeply involved with Allison, so any possibility with Judith and I is out of the window. But it is good to be back in touch. Jamigo, keep smiling and... behave!!!

Ah, my little Vicky. From the moment I first started working at Mecca it was obvious that she had a thing for me. She is such a sweet, and sensitive woman. One of life's victims in many ways. Alas, for Vicky felt more like a younger sister, and I told her that things probably would not go anywhere. She accepted that. One of the hardest things I had to tell Vicky was that Allison and I had started dating. I thought it would break her heart - ha!, I am so vain at times. She is a stalwart. As she said, "We are still mates, and that is the main thing." Too fucking true. I have all the time in the world for Vicky, even if she rings me and wakes me up at 02:30 a.m...

One of the few people from my work who I would class as a friend. Ye gods!, this woman is so funny. Since she started working with me my job has become much more fun. I have lost count the amount of times we have ended up having a water fight while shutting down the dishwashers. It is odd the way we both seem to leave work at 10:00 p.m. soaked every sunday and friday. *lol* Out of work she is useless with computers, a fact brought to my attention after an hour long phone call trying to help her sort out a little problem with the settings that she managed to mess up. Treena, if ya ever read this, remember, you are the well done one...

Many, many more to come...

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Page Updated: 8th November 2000